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Pervert God Seong Gui Nam
1. I'll help you have sex
[Hyungnim, you want to have sex with that woman, right? Do you want me to help?]
[What do you mean what, sex. You're hard right now.]
I've seen ghosts ever since I was young.
But from having lived 34 years, I soon learned ghosts just spontaneously appear, surprise me and don't particularly harm me in any way.
Obviously, there's a variety of ghosts so there are some annoying ones that come to beg like hobos.
Most usually ask me to listen to their unfortunate tales or make an absurd request that I take revenge for them. If I ignore them as if I don't hear them, they go off to some other place.
But this pajama-wearing 20s looking male ghost is seducing me with the magic word.
Along with jabbering hyungnim, hyungnim.
[Right? You want to have sex, right? You want to have some skin on skin action with that cougar of a realtor ajumma (KR term for older female) in the empty house. Just like in pornos or adult manga. I'll help you do that. Right now.]
Help me have sex with a woman I’ve known for less than 10 minutes?
Even knowing there's nothing to be gained from associating with ghosts, any fucking man with a penis couldn’t help but latch onto that bait.
Like he said, the realtor ajumma's sexiness was stimulating my sexual fantasies.
She was wearing a black bra underneath a blouse that showed through, beige slacks, and a feminie slipper with a slight heel. The toes wrapped in skin-tone stockings were dragging out my fetishist desires.
And red pedicures, totally my thing.
She seemed to be in her late 30s to early 40s.
Somewhere between someone's mother and a career woman, the determined but practical eyes, and the body with some reality-based thickness that made it seem as though it was within my reach.
The current situation had something to do with it too.
A male customer looking for a home, and a middle-aged female realtor, it's something everyone has seen in a porno.
The tranquil mood of an empty house, her running into the restroom as if she's been holding it in and didn't think of me as of the opposite sex. Those elements were brewing forth virulent imaginations inside of me.
"I do want to do it…"
I walked out toward the veranda and closed the door to whisper to the ghost.
The ghost already knew I was hard, and that I had sexual desires directed toward the woman.
He pushed his face through the veranda windows and proudly declared.
[Ok, I'll do it.]
"Motherfucker, you'll do it?"
[Ah, what did you listen to until now? I'll help hyungnim do it with that woman.]
I didn't know what his motives were.
He'll definitely have some conditions.
Human fuckers, ghost fuckers, all require something in return for their 'goodwill'.
"So, what is it that you want?"
[I have nothing I want in return. It's out of the purity of my heart that I want to help you relive your desires.]
"You mother fucker, are you a virgin ghost? Are you trying to get vicarious satisfaction through me or something?"
You can't be nice to ghost fucks. You need to act tough.
That's so that ghosts won’t take advantage of you.
[I'm not a virgin. Anyway, are you gonna do this or not?]
"Are you going to possess my body or something?"
[Nothing like that. I'm just going to give you my mysterious powers.]
Mysterious powers huh.
As long as he's not borrowing my body.
I thought I had nothing to lose, so I took the bait.
"Call." (poker term, taking the person up on the offer)
The ghost extended his right palm towards me.
[Here, if you match your palm to mine, my powers will transfer to you temporarily.]
"I'm warning you now, you fuck, but if you're messing with me, I'll fucking start the ceremony to send you off into the afterlife. There's a famous ten-thousand god ajumma (shaman implied) in my mom's gathering."
[Got it, just match your palm already. I hear the toilet being flushed.]
Already being obsessed by the thought of sex, I put my palm to his. I didn't feel anything, but I could definitely see a blue light coming out of his hand and enter mine.
"Is this all? What does this do?"
[Now, if you touch a woman the ability will initiate. Skin to skin.]
"You crazy fuck, how do you expect me to touch a person I met for the first time."
[How do you have no sense for this? You can touch her by asking for her business card or tell her she has something on her hand and brush it off. Is it not enough to spoon this into your mouth that I have to move your jaws up and down?]
Fuck, I didn't think I'd get scolded by a ghost in all my life.
Then, I heard water being turned on the sink, and soon the realtor lady dried her hands with paper towels and came out.
This ajumma… not sure if she's easy-going or brazen, but entering a restroom when she came to see a house with a male customer?
"Did you say something?"
Maybe she heard me whisper something to the ghost, but she smiled and asked.
I came out of the veranda and just glossed over it.
"N-No. I got a call from a friend."
"How is it? It's better in person, right?"
"Yeah, it's pretty good."
If there wasn't a ghost.
"Usually this place wouldn't be available for this price. It's 200,000won cheaper than similar rooms around here." (approx. $200USD)
"Yeah, I looked at it before coming."
"Oh right, you said you looked at it through an app."
I was talking, but I filtered through her words.
I was already full of dirty thoughts.
So, I need to touch her bare skin.
I did as the ghost told me and asked her.
"Do you have a business card by any chance?"
"Ah, just a moment."
The ghost fucker was looking on with a pleased expression while she opened her cellphone case and handed me her realtor's business card.
I brushed slightly against her finger wondering what would happen.
Here, I touched her like you said.
Now what'll happ…huh?
A hologram window appeared next to the woman's temple.
Similar to an RPG game character's status window.
Upon seeing that, the ghost said.
[It's my ability called 'Sex Scan Window'. Or to put it simply Fuck Screen (씹창). It has all the information you need for coitus so hurry up and familiarize yourself.
-Name: Kang Hee Yeon
-Impression of me: B
-Sex drive: A
-Sexual Openness Quotient: A
-Sexual Fantasy: Having sex with a customer in an empty house
-Pin Point: neck, ankle
-Walkthrough Tips: Currently has enough sexual appetite to accept anything man with a penis. Divorced her husband because she couldn't bear his authoritarianism and curtness. Because of that, she is attracted to kind and scrupulous men. Her self-dignity has fallen because of her 'divorcee' tag. 'Her impression of me' isn't bad, but it's not enough to undo her buttons. Compliment her on her fashion with kind words and a smiling face to improve her feelings to A.
-Suggested comment: "The bobbed hair looks really nice on you."
T-This is truly the tip of all tips.
The quality of information on this was more than enough to truly deem this the 'SEX Scan Window'.
I slightly rolled my eyes to peer at the ghost floating behind Kang Hee Yeon.
He gave me a thumbs up.
I can't believe that there's a ghost that's this benevolent. No, maybe he's an angel?
I replied in kind with a thumbs up by fake-scratching my nose.
My heart pounded as if I'd just completed a 100m race.
As I hurriedly read the fuck screen, the ghost-nim added some explanations.
[The sex-drive is super high, and her openness on sex is enough to rival French or Dutch women. Pin Points are her most sexually sensitive areas. Her impression of you is quite good - enough to achieve coitus if you exchange contact information. But what hyungnim wants is to do it here and now right?]
I nodded very slightly.
So, so, what do I need to do you fuck!
[The good thing is her sexual fantasy is the same. Sex with a customer in an empty house while on the job. So, look for a good timing to try the suggested comment. You can do that much right?]
Seeing that I was preoccupied with the fuck screen - what a vulgar name - Kang Hee Yeon looked around nervously and asked.
"W-Why? Is there something?"
"N-No. The bobbed hair looks really nice on you."
"Is there someone here besides you, haha."
Her face turned bright red like a girl in puberty.
At that moment, a female voice played in my head <Impression of Me increased one step from B to A>.
Did it really work?
Did this shitty phrase really work!
Was it this easy to steal a woman's heart?
<Extra walkthrough comment tips issued as a reward for improving her impression.>
As the voice continued, another fuck screen appeared.
Walkthrough tip: touch Kang Hee Yeon's left ankle within 6 seconds.
Suggested comment: "Hold still for a moment. There's an insect on your foot."
As if possessed by something, I spurted out what was written on the fuck screen word-for-word.
"H-Hold still for a moment. There's an insect on your foot."
Surprised, Kang Hee Yeon froze in her place.
"P-Please take it off quick. Quickly."
At the same time, her left ankle showed a red hologram marker and a countdown for 6 seconds began.
This is kind of like a dating-sim?
Classmate or something like that.
<Softly grip her ankle and say "It was a leaf, not a bug" to calm Kang Hee Yeon down.>
I followed the instructions and bent down to softly grip her ankle as I repeated.
"Ah, it was a leaf, not a bug."
That moment, Kang Hee Yeon's body shook and a slightly peculiar moan escaped.
My penis fully hardened in response to the soft moan. Enough to make me wonder if it was ok to be this hard.
The next moment, not the fuck screen, but my feral-instincts commanded my movements.
I slipped the hand that was gripping her ankle inside her pant legs.
I felt the calf wrapped in stockings and pulled my hand back down to slightly tickle her pin point, the ankle.
The bold action was make me nervous enough to feel panicked.
Everyone, this is how dangerous female moans are.
Fuck, what do I do if I get reported for sexual harassmen…
She likes it.
Her body shook enough to discern with my own eyes.
Soon, her heels lifted following her bent knee, and her appetizingly curled toes wrapped in stockings jutted out of her slippers.
While I was at it, I stood up and took my lips to her neck, her other pin point. Fruit-scented shampoo radiated towards me.
‘Ah’, ‘good’, ‘more’ kept coming through Kang Hee Yeon's lips.
Soon, her hands rummaged for my pant zippers, and I undid her blouse buttons as I greedily licked her neck.
That is something that I couldn't achieve no matter what I fucking tried for the past 34 years; the first one-nigher of my life.
< I'll help you have sex> End
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